more by Yune Jee Bang

April 13, 2022

does it make you feel powerful

when you say, “i don’t care”?

from the Lord i have

love on tap,

maybe your reservoir

requires conservation. i get

you are a survivalist, you plan ahead,

you ration. you have no understanding

of infinity, your god is your universe. where gases gravitate

and burn and return over human eternity. where everything is diluted

until the end. but even if we suns

die eventually, don’t we serve as omnipotent

enough for now? still you spurn my affection with shades

drawn. the sun never sets on you.

fine. i agree i am inadequate. omnipresent

enough for now but light does not transmit

where it is not wanted. power, love;

absence, feigned indifference. i don’t think anything

good is generated from that cold. not that solar power

is sustainable. light and heat dissipate, i know.

created things are transient

but still we provide; we imitate our Creator.

not enough for you. i know. you know

how i am hurt, imagine how He feels. just because i can’t love you forever

don’t deny yourself my God. you say

i can’t understand, you think i just have

energy. from where though. do you see?

what i am trying to tell you? i am not

what you need. i know. but, i love you.

not enough, but enough to wish

you could care to ask

for more.

Illustration by Eunae Koh '23

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